Anything Your Dog Can Do, My Cat Can Do Better
You may have heard the age old question: Which is better, dogs or cats? You may feel passionately about one or the other. “Dogs are loyal friends.” “Cats take care of themselves.” “Dogs are too needy.” “Cats are menaces to society.” Whichever way you lean, dog owners and cat owners can both agree that their pets are the greatest little creatures in the world, but cats are 1,000% better than dogs.
When I was little my younger brother begged our parents for a puppy. Nevermind we already had a dog. I wanted a cat. Unfortunately, my parents turned down both of us. Well, if I couldn’t get a cat, then I’ll be the cat. I used to crawl around the house with a rope tied around my waist and acted like a cat.
My prayers have finally been answered when the cat distribution system chose me. A little black feral cat crawled its way into the crawl space of our house and used the gravel as a litter box. After spending a day scooping the cat poop, my parents let me keep the cat, as long as it stayed outside. Scat the cat became the catalyst of our family’s conversion from dog people to cat people. After Scat we had eight more cats, and we never looked back.
Dogs may be man’s best friend, but they are so needy. You can’t leave the house for more than a few hours without worrying that the dog would pee all over the carpet. Dogs also need lots of attention. Have you ever had a roommate who needed constant attention? Well, that’s a dog for you. Dogs are like that clingy friend who can’t bear to be alone for a minute. Meanwhile, cats are independent and self-sufficient. They don’t mind if you’re gone all weekend as long as the food bowl is full. It’s like living with a zen master who’s perfectly content with their own company. Plus, there’s no guilt when you binge-watch your favorite show alone—cats are just fine with it.
Dogs will love you no matter what, but with cats, you need to earn their love. You do one thing out of the ordinary, and your cat will think you committed war crimes across seven different countries. Dogs will let you get away with anything. Cats will judge you until you better yourself.
Sometimes, when I’m out on a walk, I see people walking their dogs with plastic bags full of their dogs’ poop. Who wants to bend down and pick up their dogs’ poop? Who wants some random dog pooping in their yard? With cats, they are naturally litter-trained. I would much rather scoop cat poop once a week rather than pick up dog poop with my bare hands. Also, if you have an automatic litter box, you don’t even need to scoop cat poop.
Most people think cats aren’t friendly, but as I mentioned before, you need to earn the cat’s trust. Once you have it, cats are arguably friendlier than dogs. Who doesn’t want a purring little kitty sleeping in your lap for four hours when you needed to pee two hours ago?
Although most dog owners will disagree with me, cats are better than dogs. Nothing will change my mind on that. Cats are the type of pet that can act like a complete menace and still get praised for it, and I aspire to be that kind of menace.
